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| Three birds always make big bang in the night. Pity thy neighbor's children. |
To my once beloved master of mine,
By the time you found this letter on Misty's bedside table, I will be away from you for good. I know, being a loyal, dedicated companion of yours for 15 years, you will be ruck-cracking the almond brain of yours all day why I am leaving so abruptly, and you would still find no reasons why, you silly numskull, good-for-nothing brat. So, discounting the fact that I had paid outrageously dividends back to your piteous berries you always fed me, I shall enlighten you in this letter, saving you the trouble of aimlessly foraying around the forest with hundreds of pokeballs, ready for stoning.
First thing first - Grow up. Eat your mum food. Wear men clothes. You are already 24yo and still wear Fox Kids with childish duck cap. How do you managed to fit into today's society of A&F, of Banana Republic, with NY cap shoved to the back? And How the hell you managed to fit into your clothes in the first place? You Benjamin Button? Or you shower yourself with devolution spray? Even I feel my cheeks burning, BURNING!! with embarrassment walking beside you.(FYI: my cheeks are made scarlet because of you, and its neither natural nor for good reason.)
Second, you are jux plain too greedy. I should have seen this coming when you saw Ho-Oh on our first trip to Viridian City. I rescued you from the assault of one sparrow (A mouse rescuing a healthy, young, combat-fit dude from a small bird - how ironic is that?) and I was heavily bruised by the fight. Midway towards rushing me to hospital you suddenly halt at the hilltop, your eyes transfixed on the shimmering golden bird for full ten minutes, until daybreak. If you got a chance and a brand new pokeball in hand, I bet that you would stone the bird and quietly row me down the hill. I kept on licking your cheeks and acting cute to assert my presence, like 'Halo I am in your arms now and suffering' and you heartless nincompoop kept on glaring as though the bird is your new found lover. I should have sue you for acts of negligent..
Now you got yourself a circus of pokemons, and I congratulate you for that, though all of it comes under my credit, I find myself lacking of any career progression under your amateurish stewardship, to put it in the most polite manner. I shall find more gainful employment with other people, perhaps with Gary, or Universal Studio as a walking billboard. If all my applications were unsuccessful, considering the depressing economy, then don't be thunderstruck that I join Team Rocket.
Sayonara. If I have the bad luck of bumping into you in future, it will be on battlefield. ZAPZAPZAP
'PS: Don't bother finding me at Professor Oak's lab, but if you are wondering where did Misty slipped out from your bed again in middle of the night, she is right there, taming Prof Oak with Nurse Mary.
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